Firefly
by Skittering-Roach
Summary: No one wants to die alone, and no one deserves to. The thoughts of Thad Thawne AKA Inertia as he died. May be hard for anyone who didn't know him from the Impulse comics to follow.


Firefly

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I profit nothing.

Main Characters: Thad Thawne (Inertia).

Explanation: Random idea I had in my head that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. All of it. Basically these are the last thoughts of Thad Thawne before he died. They are confusing. Very possibly, seemingly random. I'm really just hoping that someone else can follow this besides me. Just a few heads up; these thoughts probably came within a few seconds for him. Everything in this is in his head. The people he will see are not really there, he's dying and delusional.

Rated: PG - PG 13 something along those lines.

Beta: "Touch of grey" Thank you. ^ ^

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_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

There is no bright light.

No clouds.

No pristine white heaven.

No angels.

No Gods.

No fire and brimstone.

No laughing devil.

No demons licking rotting lips.

No rushing speedforce to run into for the last time.

Shouldn't there at least be that?

Not even a flashback.

Wouldn't be much more then re-watching monitors anyway.

No big loss there.

There is only this flickering dimness.

The pain is gone and soon that little light will go with it.

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

Eyes fluttering, open and closed, can't stop them, can't control....

I hate not having control.

I lost so much of that didn't I?

Control.

It was gone.

Completely.

And look what happened?

Didn't plan.

Lost sight.

Lost control.

Lost everything.

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

Don't think I can't see you looking down on me you old bastard.

What are you glaring at?

You're not the one with fried feet and a hole in his gut.

What are you even doing here?

You haven't even been born yet.

You shouldn't be here.

Get back in my head where you belong.

A captain is supposed to go down with his ship after all.

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

Little flickering lights.

Flicker.

Flicker.

Light bugs.

Just like light bugs.

Little light bugs.

No.

_Fireflies._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

So many fireflies.

They're everywhere.

In the air.

Dancing with the stars and around the moon.

Flickering in the grass where the crickets chirp.

Flying up to the house light.

Lighting up the shrubs.

Wandering up my arm.

Landing on my head.

My hair...

No

Not my hair.

Too long, too dark.

Not my hair.

This is-

"Bart?"

Max?

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

Max.

Smiling.

At me.

Why smiling at me?

You think I'm Bart.

You only ever think I'm Bart.

You're smiling for Bart.

Of course.

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

Watch the fireflies not the man.

He's not important anymore.

Let him go.

Crunching gravel.

Why is he coming closer?

Go away old man.

Can't you see I want to be alone?

_Flicker in_

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

"You look like you've never seen them before."

I haven't.

"And here I thought you found them boring."

No.

Bart does.

I think they are beautiful.

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

"You're very quiet."

Don't have anything to say to you.

"As nervous as that makes me, I suppose I know why."

You chose him over me.

You still only see him.

"I'm sorry you had to find out about my condition the way you did. I should have told you myself, but I was having a hard enough time accepting it on my own. I hoped it wouldn't come to that."

Hand on my shoulder.

Warm.

Light.

The rest of me is cold.

When did it get so cold?

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

"And though I appreciate what you've been doing, I'm a little worried about you."

Why?

I think it's a little late for worry.

"You seem to be closing yourself off. Your friends need you too you know."

I don't care about them.

"You need me more."

Did...

Did I say that?

He looks hurt...

Why would that hurt him?

_Flicker in_

_Flicker out_

_Flicker in_

_Flicker out_

Another smile.

This one looks sad.

I don't understand.

Why did that hurt him?

"That's not necessarily true."

Yes it is.

Those other people are useless.

"I'm very proud of you. For all the progress you've made. For pushing yourself so far. You have done...more then I could have asked for, and despite the odds. But with all these changes you've made, I'm a little afraid you might be losing yourself along the way."

What does he mean?

I haven't changed.

Have I?

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

"I think you need to understand, that things may not go as planned."

Things always go as planned.

I make sure of that.

"And if they don't,"

"Don't talk like that."

Don't...

"You will need other people, your friends. And they'll need you to stay strong."

I tried!

I did!

Friends...

But they...

I...

"I want you to make me a promise."

...I'm not good with promises.

"What kind of promise?"

"I want you to promise me, that if things don't turn out the way we plan, that you won't let it be the end of you. That you will move on, and keep living. That you will stay as strong as you are now."

I...I can't...

"I...I promise Max."

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

"Thank you."

A last smile.

So many fireflies.

They're everywhere.

"I love you...,"

_Flicker in._

_Flicker out._

"Thad."

_Flicker in._

_Flicker-_


End file.
